How we choose TO DEAL WITH THINGS by Karen Keller, Ph.D
To truly influence and maximize the power within your grasp, you need to become “one with it.”
A few years ago, I took an off ramp, circling around to a huge overpass when I hit black ice. Now, most of you who live where there’s snow understand that black ice is basically invisible. Well, I hit this invisible ice and my SUV fish-tailed almost to a 90 degree angle with the road. Going over the side of the road wasn’t an option since it was a 150 foot drop. My arms were suddenly sore, even numb, from maneuvering the steering wheel back and forth to keep from rolling. Then it hit me. I needed to become “one” with the truck. I let myself relax, breathe, and feel the sway and momentum of the vehicle. I moved with it instead of against it. All of a sudden, it became controllable. I was keeping it on the road bringing it into alignment.
Become one with yourself.
Why do I tell you this? I talk about this because becoming one with whatever is causing anxiety, alarm or discomfort is when you take back your power. Being one with yourself is akin to not only listening to but also hearing your inner voice, your intuition. Hearing the message that will allow you to carry forward through whatever is distressing you.
When you are one with yourself, then become one with the other. Now, the other can be another person, an idea or a situation. Becoming one with “it” means you need to respect, not agree or approve, with “it.” You seek a way to bring about favorable change or outcome.
For instance, if you are having a bad argument with your partner, become one with him or her, the words he or she is using, and the idea he or she is stating. This brings about a different approach to listening or relating. It will change the outcome simply because you decided to influence it by becoming one with it. The argument is no longer an argument to win but to understand. Not a discussion to force but a conversation to express.
Influence through your ‘inner fluency’ – your intuition.
When you have pain, whether emotional or physical, connect with it – become one with it. Use your internal energy to be it. We’ve all read where people have survived enormous hardship by being in sync with it. Be aware of what is in your control while allowing your energy, emotions and being to join with the pain, thereby knowing what is needed to overcome or change it.
Out of this comes your greatest asset – using your intuition, power and favor with becoming one with whatever is there. You can do it – you may already do it but not know it. Bring it fully into your consciousness. Surrender to your natural ability to influence through your intuition or “inner fluency.”
Great! Now what? How are you supposed to just turn on your intuition? Easier said than done! Well it all starts with your soul. Listen to the messages that are there. If you can’t hear them then ask, I need to know xxx. You will get a response. But you need to recognize the response, particularly if it isn’t one you were expecting and then find the meaning in the message. Meaning is the value you place on the message, the appreciation for it, and your acceptance that it’s there and it’s for you. Sometimes it’s easier to force our own interpretation on this message so we get what we want but it isn’t always the wisest thing to do.
Imago Relationship theory explains why the differences which often lead to frustrations in a relationship are actually a natural part of our growth process and how we communicate with each other. When we select a partner, it is the result of an unconscious match between a mental image of our parents/caretakers, created in childhood (called Imago) and certain character traits of our attracted partner that we identify with.
Introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy:
Introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy is a 3hr ‘mini’ workshop providing an overview of Imago Theory and principles and how this can help improve communication in your personal relationships with your partner and children and in the professional world.
If you are currently not in a relationship, the personal insights and tools gained will give you a good grounding for your next relationship.
Date: Sat 5th March 2011 – 14:00-17:00
Place: Fourways/Bryanston
Cost: R200pp
Book early as spaces are limited to ensure a personal, interactive session.