Relationship troubles? by www.nucompanies
Is your relationship in trouble? Would you recognize the signs if they were right in front of you? While every relationship goes through ups and downs from time to time, there are some definite signs that can alert you to trouble ahead. Don’t despair! This is a good thing, because these signs are a golden opportunity to make the changes needed to get your relationship back on the path to happiness. Here are 5 signs to watch for:
1. You’d feel closer if your partner lived in another country.
You’ve heard the saying, “alone, but not lonely”? This can happen in reverse, when you and your mate are emotionally distant, despite sharing the same space. This is a number one complaint of couples, especially women. Men tend to distance themselves emotionally, while women want to talk and know everything the man is thinking. But if you still feel miles apart after allowing for this difference between the sexes, you may be headed for relationship trouble.
2. Thinking about your mate no longer brings an instant smile to your face.
Remember when you first fell in love? You couldn’t stop talking about him; you couldn’t keep your hands off her. The mere mention of his name brought tears to your eyes; her scent lingering in your bedroom drove you wild. What happened? All relationships go through patches; it may just be that the stresses of life have caught up with both of you, and some serious couples time is needed to help you remember what you loved about each other in the first place.
3. Sex isn’t good anymore. In fact, it doesn’t exist anymore.
Can’t remember when you last got busy with your partner? Turned off at the thought of doing it again? Dry spells are not unusual among committed couples. Stuff happens. But if your desire has flown the coop…if you’re no longer willing to make an effort then you need to take stock. Sex isn’t everything by any means…but you should feel a desire to be intimately close with your mate. See your physician for a checkup to ensure the problem is not hormonal. Then see a relationship coach!
4. You don’t kiss like you once did.
So your sex life has become somewhat routine, perhaps even a chore. That’s not good. But even worse is the lack of, or avoidance of, vital intimacy that comes from a serious, ol’ fashioned make-out session! Kissing is a form of connecting. Kissing creates feelings and desire. Kissing, as our parents used to say, puts “ideas” in our heads…as well as loving feelings. If you have stopped kissing, you need to probe deeper to find out why and then start doing it.
5. You’re always together…and fighting.
All couples fight. It’s unavoidable when two adults are forced to live in close quarters and compromise on major decisions. Without fighting, we’d never enjoy make-up sex! But have you ever known “that” couple who quarrels constantly, no matter what the topic? It’s awkward and uncomfortable to be around them. If you find you fight all the time, get help. More likely, what you’re fighting about is a smoke screen for the real issues between you. If the fighting has been going on for some time, a lot of work will need to be done to bring the relationship back from such harshness and criticism.
Do any of these 5 points describe your relationship? If so, it’s time for a heart-to-heart, and perhaps serious face time with a relationship coach who can help you get to the root of your relationship difficulties.
Imago Relationship theory explains why the differences which often lead to frustrations in a relationship are actually a natural part of our growth process and how we communicate with each other. When we select a partner, it is the result of an unconscious match between a mental image of our parents/caretakers, created in childhood (called Imago) and certain character traits of our attracted partner that we identify with.
Introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy:
Introduction to Imago Relationship Therapy is a 3hr ‘mini’ workshop providing an overview of Imago Theory and principles and how this can help improve communication in your personal relationships with your partner and children and in the professional world. If you are currently not in a relationship, the personal insights and tools gained will give you a good grounding for your next relationship.
Date: Sat 29 Jan 2011 – 14:00-17:00
Place: Fourways/Bryanston
Cost: R200pp
Book early as spaces are limited to ensure a personal, interactive session.