Harville Hendrix, PhD, and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD developed Imago Relationship Therapy, a concept and set of tools for enabling successful connection between people.
Often when you think you’re listening, you’re only half listening. There are many different levels of listening involving less than your full attention – and the other person usually knows it…..they don’t feel a connection with you.
The highest level of listening, the one that will yield the most amazing results is when you are truly giving five star attention, hearing every word the other person is saying. Your heart, mind, soul and body are present and ready to hear every word—an extraordinary gift that will lead to extraordinary relationships both in your personal and professional life.
The Intentional Dialogue process provides people with tools enabling them to communicate on a much deeper, emotive level by creating a ‘safe’ connection.
This process creates a ‘safe’ environment for people to explore their conflict in a non ‘blaming and shaming‘ manner, allowing each other to see things from the other persons world and understand their real source of the conflict (past childhood or relationship hurt). Imago offers a sense of hope and possibility for all relationships.
This allows each person to share deep emotional thoughts and feelings and state their unmet needs which are usually triggered by a past childhood wound (e.g. acceptance, validation, self worth etc).
Imago Relationship Therapy is the process of teaching people the tools to:
- maintain a conscious relationship with others.
- address conflict at its roots rather just trying to solve it on a surface level.
- create emotional safety for all.
- learn how to better meet your own and other’s needs.
- make small changes that make the biggest difference in terms of happiness and fulfillment as individuals, groups or couples.
- learn how to become less reactive.
- understand what your trigger points are.
- realize how to make all your relationships fulfilling, alive, passionate, fun and transforming.
- be less reactive and destructive.
Using the intentional dialogue process, a deeper level of safety and trust is created with each other and the result is mutually fulfilling, rewarding and connecting interactions.
Whenever we have repeated a pattern or behaviour many times, it is difficult to change. But all patterns ultimately can in fact be changed. It is a question of having a desired outcome – and then being motivated to take action. It is easier to change patterns when one is willing to make changes within themselves, ultimately creating change in all spheres of their world.
The purpose of relationship is growth. By its very nature, a relationship will continuously give you opportunities to develop your character. It takes strength, courage and resilience to let go of past behaviours and live the healthy relationships you desire.
As part of the process, from the onset you will be required to:
- give up blame and criticism and instead focus on your own behaviour and actions.
- co-create a Relationship Vision as a daily reminder to you of your goal/s.
- re-romantisize your relationship and rekindle the love you once felt for each other.
- target specific behaviours to replace the negativity with good.
And the more challenging one’s relationships – the greater the growth possibilities!